so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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