Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i came on her dog
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
