we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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