I wannas sexs uuuuu
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
