Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
