so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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