who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
