Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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