i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
