its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?