My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?