so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own