I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
