It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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