I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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