Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
