Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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  (937): oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing http://tfl.nu/lc8m
  Replies (75) Good night (5540) Bad night (838)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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  (407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i
  Replies (13) Good night (968) Bad night (4140)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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  (973): So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on. http://tfl.nu/d9b8
  Replies (9) Good night (1365) Bad night (3821)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.

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  (856): You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7ekl
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (1706)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (847)
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  (347): View more from New York

  He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?

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  (347): He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family? http://tfl.nu/6x1g
  Replies (10) Good night (626) Bad night (2259)
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  (530): View more from California

  Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection

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  (530): Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection http://tfl.nu/e8qx
  Replies (24) Good night (1168) Bad night (5801)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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  (+44): mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string. http://tfl.nu/2xqf
  Replies (15) Good night (510) Bad night (1789)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

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  (410): Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/1cgp
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (616)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.

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  (907): I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream. http://tfl.nu/8o4c
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (414)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (880)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?

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  (708): was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time? http://tfl.nu/ea5t
  Replies (5) Good night (802) Bad night (250)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

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  (316): You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!" http://tfl.nu/ag1e
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (221)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.

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  (720): Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying. http://tfl.nu/q0t7
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (190)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise

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  (775): are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise (702): I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise http://tfl.nu/pg7f
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (200)

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