I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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