Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

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  (+44): Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade. http://tfl.nu/0707
  Replies (29) Good night (1000) Bad night (4386)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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  (630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp
  Replies (113) Good night (1604) Bad night (25186)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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  (850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce
  Replies (12) Good night (1133) Bad night (2806)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.

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  (317): How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that. http://tfl.nu/g1sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1369) Bad night (2934)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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  (901): I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick http://tfl.nu/35jp
  Replies (11) Good night (5018) Bad night (1124)
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  (650): View more from California

  Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp

  (1-650): View more from California

  i loe djcudia fjxos rue.

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  (650): Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp (1-650): i loe djcudia fjxos rue. http://tfl.nu/pfpy
  Replies (15) Good night (2814) Bad night (1154)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  (808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (1640)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!

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  (610): Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?! http://tfl.nu/1su6
  Replies (9) Good night (2844) Bad night (899)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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  (317): I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock. http://tfl.nu/fdm1
  Replies (9) Good night (3224) Bad night (936)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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  (701): Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice! http://tfl.nu/fa1l
  Replies (7) Good night (3250) Bad night (654)
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  (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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  (323): Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah http://tfl.nu/389u
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (513)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

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  (978): OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING http://tfl.nu/ds3l
  Replies (7) Good night (1427) Bad night (421)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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  (210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz
  Replies (10) Good night (529) Bad night (1126)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"

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  (502): Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch" http://tfl.nu/4pzk
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (419)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...

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  (405): Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time... http://tfl.nu/6vqb
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (270)

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