Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??