New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
being pregnant is like rehab
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.