How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
