I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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