Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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