My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
