the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
