This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Vodka?
Forever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
