after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize