the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
