I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
