walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize