I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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