Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
