It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
