I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
