Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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