at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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