I've blown a few things in my day
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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