sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm always down for nudity.
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