Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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