8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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