I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
