goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
