what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
