If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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