She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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