Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
