Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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