guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's blow job season.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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