Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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