either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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