Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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