great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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