I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
