Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
