do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
