When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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