My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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