Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's shark week go big or go home
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
