one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
