no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
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I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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