matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize