So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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