The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
