I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
