yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
