just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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