oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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