apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I look better un-naked...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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