she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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