i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You've changed since you got that strap on
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
