Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
